Drifting Apart

I have been thinking about doing this blog post for a while now, to try to start some kind of discussion and to see if I’m not the only one who has gone through this kind of thing.

I know the title of this post is very dramatic (clickbait) lol but it’s the truth, and the only way I can really describe what this conversation is going to be about. And that’s exactly what I want this to be, a conversation! I want people to message me with their stories, so I can understand how you dealt with this subject.

I have never had the biggest group on friends, I am very picky, and it takes a while for me to trust people. I have a best friend, who I have been friends with since we were 13/14 and still am to this day, he has married and has a child, but I’ve been a massive part of those stages in his life over the years, so he doesn’t really fall into the “Drifting Apart” category.

Growing up I was always close to my cousins, 1 in particular, we would go on holiday, spend so much time together, always be out and constantly in touch with each other. And obviously, things change, people change, they lose things in common which is natural in life.

I was also really close to a family friend, I did everything with them, trips away, gym, cinema every week, dinners, lunches, we worked in the same building, we were basically attached at the hip but within a flash this changed.

Within 1 month, I found out my cousin was pregnant (I was absolutely ecstatic for her, she had always wanted to be a mum and I knew it would be fantastic for her!) and the other person I was really close with had told me that they had fallen in love and had been in a relationship for several months (but didn’t know how to tell me).

This was November 2017, I was in the process of buying my flat so super stressed out with that, and had just got a promotion at work so even more stress! Then found out that my relationships with these 2 people who I absolutely loved were going to change massively, it absolutely killed me! I remember just breaking down and crying while in the shower one morning as it all got to much!

The realisation of what was going to happen made me go into isolation. I stopped seeing my cousin all together, I probably saw her twice during her 9-month pregnancy, and to this day still see her and talk to her but no way as much as we did. She has a new life now, I am still part of it, but I know things are different.

And my other relationship just kind of broke down, they started cancelling on our regular weekly activities, plus by January 18 I had moved out of the area so it was harder to see each other, but not that they were trying to see me, and I had the attitude of “I’m not going to try if you don’t” and the things we did have planned, we carried on with but the relationship changed (we had a gig planned in London, and were going to stay over, but suddenly it turned into, I am busy the next day so cannot stay now – but that same day I asked what they were doing and they said oh nothing, so was just an excuse . . this is how paranoid I was getting, it was horrible!

My family and other friends noticed a change in me, I was so serious and not the happy Charlie people knew. I was buying my first home, I have just got a promotion with a big pay rise but yet I wasn’t happy.

Buying my flat was such a massive thing, and once I had got it, I wanted to share it with my friends, have people over and do the things we planned, but in reality, everyone was moving on, we were drifting apart. I know this is a natural thing in life, but when people you have loved for years move on without you, it’s really hard.

I have found it really hard to adjust to the void in my life. My best friend has his family, in which I am a big part of, but they need family time, I can’t be going around their every night, although I know they really wouldn’t mind.

My cousin and I see each other for celebrations, the odd dinner here and there and we have a few things planned this year which will be fun, but again she now has her growing family and boyfriend so I don’t want to be a burden.

And as for the other relationship, it’s a dinner here and there every few months, but no way like it was. Which is really hard as I literally had the best times ever with them. I can only hope in the years to come we can experience this again.

I have read a lot of things recently about people who live alone and that are single are unhappy, which I really don’t agree this, yes, I am sometimes unhappy but not because I am single, I love being on my own, I just wish things with friends/family never changed, but its life and I need to learn to adjust.

What is your experience on relationships and how they breakdown or you drift apart? Did you find each other again? Is a relationship worth fighting for, if they were so quick to let it go?

This is no way a poor me post, but something which has been playing on my mind a lot! If you liked this post, and would like some more personal posts, let me know! I have a lot of stories!

Follow:

4 Comments

  1. Alice Spake
    April 23, 2019 / 4:05 pm

    Oh Charlie, I wish I could give you a big cuddle. It’s hard when relationships change especially when it’s not exactly been your say. Always here for a chat or lunch 💗

    • April 23, 2019 / 4:49 pm

      You just think everything will stay the same forever. But life doesn’t always work that way does it! Thank you! X

  2. Rachael
    June 4, 2019 / 8:30 am

    Just found this via twitter!
    My best friend and I used to do loads together even though I was in relationship and eventually got married but we still made time to spend with each other or as a group, when I had my first baby we still spent time together but obviously not as much and then he moved away 😕 I now barely hear from him and when he does come to visit it’s always a quick visit because he’s seeing his other friends later that day or has other plans. I just want him to come and see me which I know is selfish!
    I totally relate to your post and it’s horrible isn’t it. I completely suck at making friends too and it’s so much harder with 2 kids!
    Hope you find a new group that you get on with and can do all the ace things you enjoy doing!! xx

    • August 11, 2019 / 10:40 am

      Hi Rachael, I didn’t think it was that common but the more I speak to people, the more I realise they are in the same boat! Thank you, I hope you do too! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.